My ESA50 Queer. Art. Form.

Recently I have felt compelled to create rather than just comment. On receiving the form the department for work and Pensions uses to determine my benefits I took time to explore my feelings of anxiety and depression and doodle.

I was diagnosed as epileptic in 2017, at the time my partner supported me and I had a good job as a laboratory technician. As my symptoms worsened and my medication wasn’t managing the seizures both were lost. It has taken me a while to mourn them and the anger associated with it. In terms of work an internalised shame at being othered out of the working world, and my ex as a former career was caring out of duty not love. I sought love elsewhere as a result.

Some of these doodles relate to types of seizure I have, some of them to conversations with friends, family and former lovers. All of them cause me anxiety but in making them I feel I am setting them free.

These pieces are a companion piece to Stools, an article for UBI Lab Sheffield

“Come back to me sweetheart”
“Ok darling?”
Question 9 (Stools)

“You just look blank sometimes and it scares me”

“I know my Aura I don’t need you to read it”

“When did you last have it?”

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